Saturday, 22 December 2012

Review the Reviewer Part V

Hi Folks

Yes, I'm a little surprised as well - another post... so soon! Maybe it's the Christmas spirit; maybe I'm just relaxed or maybe I have something burning in my heart waiting to be expunged and expressed in my particularly qwerty (Yes - not quirky) style? Who knows?

I've been spending a little time recently trawling through my smashwords and kindle accounts and have noticed a few quirky ( yes quirky this time, not qwerty) aspects to the reviewing process.

I have a short story posted at Smashwords that links to Barnes and Noble. Keitai Friends was my first published work that has become a chapter of my novel, Memoirs of a Vending Machine.
Reviews have been juvenile to say the least. It seems as though a couple of kids have had a read and decided that they hate my guts and that I deserve to be punished. So... scathing reviews have ensued.

Here's the first:

 Stay Away!

This is by far the worst book (if you can call it that) that I have ever read. It was twenty for [sic] pages (if that). If that wasn't enough the main character whom you think might be interesting we see only his inner monologue for the most part and I have to wonder if the author had something against the Japanese.
Ok, so you don't like my book. Fine, you have every right to express this and you assume that I hate Japanese people - maybe just a little bit unworldly  of you - you seem a little naive and inexperienced but 10 points for supporting Japanese people and defending them but I just don't think you get it. (For the record - I do not hate the Japanese.)

 DO NOT GET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO NOT GET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I GOT BORED ON THE FIRST PAGE, PAINSTAKINGLY READ TO THE SIXTH PAGE THEN QUICKLY AND PROMPTLY ARCHIVED THIS BOOK
Ok, so this reviewer doesn't like reading words - fine but I could hardly call this constructive and respectful of the hard work the author put in to publishing the work.


I have not even read the book and i see all these bad commets [sic] sooo its a great thind [sic]it is free
Ok, so this reviewer didn't actually read the book but read the reviews - at least there were no complaints about having to read words - shame about the typo.


Did you know that japs think that korea is their land? Also, they se----abused asian women
 Well... me too ...WTF.
Posted September 29, 2011

No text was provided for this review

And finally a FIVE STAR rating posted anonymously with no text. If you go to the page you will 
find that this is the end of a tit-for-tat style race to post the least and then the most stars in order to 
annoy the previous reviewer.

I don't actually know what to make of this but I suspect that the story has been published under the 
wrong genre and that the readers are expecting a graphic novel. There are illustrations in this version 
but it isn't intended to be a graphic novel. Maybe these readers are young and are expressing their 
disappointment at not getting what they expected (for free I might add). The absolute irony of all of 
this is that out of all of the linked ebook sites, this one yields the most downloads and the most popular
 with just under 1000 downloads this year was Keitai Friends. The downloads just keep coming!

I don't know, I just write 'm.

BTW: If you have an interesting account of a ridiculous review that you would like to review, drop 
me a line - I'll post it.

Merry Christmas all


No comments:

Post a Comment